I’ve offen feel trapped. Trapped in my thoughts, trapped in my fears & trapped in my anxiety! Some times, it feels like my days are a really long battle with my with my low self esteem, there is telling me how I’m not good enough!
Telling me how I don’t deserve the things I meet on my path through life. Some days I feels like it’s better, to stay at home & hide. For most part, I can keep the thoughts in arms way, for most part. Lucky!
Sometimes I wish I could fly. Then I would, fly as far as possible! Just let the wind take me where ever it would guide me too. Where I could be myself!
One of the reasons I miss New York, is, because I was JUST me! No history, no shame, no anxiety & no past.
There is this saying ‘A new day, a new beginning’!!!
In New York City I REALLY felt it WAS true! Cause every morning, when I step out the front door. I’ve never knew WHAT I would meet! One morning, when I went for my morning-coffee at the corner shop at the street I lived on, there was a pile of shoes on the sidewalk!
No matter in which direction I went, there was a new exciting to see & experience! & still, my past in NO WAY, catch up with me! There was so many, SO GREAT things. That I didn’t had the time to think about my past, my fears & my anxiety! & I felt SO GREAT, SO PEACEFUL & SO SERENE!
I remember thinking, ‘if THIS is freedom, I would stay here, FOREVER! & would don’t care bout anything!’. It wouldn’t matter anymore! I could get lost (in a good way), in a world of new things, sweet people & in experiences there wouldn’t be same!
So my big love is & always will be NEW YORK CITY!!!
The city of possibilities, the city of greatness & the city of an NEVER ENDING STORY!!!